Mark's Random Thoughts

I have taken a couple of days drawing up the initial list of character names for my book. I did know the name of the principle character though was starting to use placeholder names (like N2, N3 etc) for the others. It was way past time to actually get around to naming them and I now have a list of names to relate to the characters.

I did get to thinking about names in general and part concluded that I should not really have a middle name, especially if some learning is to be believed. Then I thought about changing my middle name to ‘Gok’ (from my religion) which still kind of appeals and might make a tad more sense. Besides, it isn’t as if the other people I know with middle names make much sense themselves. Just random thoughts anyway.

As it goes, one of the central characters of the story changes their name, so that might give me cause to research what is required changing one’s name through deed poll.

After an afternoon of being bitten by mosquitoes I opted to get my own back on them by going out and getting rather drunk. Figured the alcohol in my blood would knock them out cold and I’d get a good night sleep.

It was rather a nice evening as it goes, pleasant company with a language barrier (Carmella mostly using Spanish and me just drunkenly nattering in English) so we didn’t have to speak much. Refused to do any magic for the guys and female in one bar (there was no need to as far as I could see) though did buy them some drinks.

Have been thinking a lot about Anyka recently. Wish she would just realise what she means to me and show me some trust.

I do note that I write about ‘look in’ and such as though the term would make absolute sense to anyone reading it.

As such, perhaps I should add a Glossary of Terms to describe such things as genomorphs, the sub class g.m.e’s (less fun in my opinion), Djinnious (yeah, yeah I know that is just a phonetic) and a whole host of other terms.

Might just leave that to the imagination of the reader though.

So, I came back to Cantoria for some of the days of the festival and the few days afterwards and am once again thinking of where to head to. Have avoided doing the modern day Christ thing (that would be foolish without a look in) though have helped some people out and indeed been helped myself.

I was considering a trip to France, though have not been invited there by anyone. Perhaps just a tour along the Mediterranean coast heading East.
Also did consider going to Italy, though the person I wanted to visit there has now left and didn’t invite me anyway. Should have given up on her when her actions inferred she was choosing someone else… She is rather important to my life and understanding thereof though. Too many questions and not enough answers there. Another aspect (or rather aspects as she did use stories that touched on many of the possibilities within the equations of my life and mind) to let drift to the future and see where it leads. Kind of annoying that I see reflections of her here in Spain (not quite as good though).
So saying, I did once write that while travelling I would be in Spain while she was in Italy and would find she had left Italy when I arrived there. Perhaps my travels lead even further East…

Managed to catch the ferry on time and after a few beers slept for some four hours or so during the crossing.
With a few detours and some twenty six hours of driving I parked up somewhere in Portugal and slept the night.
Another couple of days in Portugal before heading to the south coast of Spain for a couple of days there before heading inland to see my cousin and her family.

Overdid the beers at Richard’s birthday bash and then overdid them again on the Saturday so am trying to calm down for a few days to give my kidneys a chance to recover. I did even do some work last night, so do feel I am heading in the right direction.

Hope to be able to post something again soon. Might even nip back this way for the festival next week.

I figured that if people can suffer from phobias such as agoraphobia then perhaps the equivalent appears on the internet.
Thus, I bring you the new term E-agoraphobia ;o)

E-agoraphobia:

The irrational fear of crowded internet chat rooms, trolled forum threads or over populated mailing lists. This phobia can also manifest as a fear and then avoidance of any of the more popular mmorpgs…

Legolas207: Hey, what happened to Gandalf__X?
Frodddddo: Caught a case of E-agoraphobia from what I heard.
Legolas207: Ah, that would explain it. Hope he gets cured soon…

Ok, I was being a bit silly there.

My aunt Marion passed on some while ago, quite a long while as it goes. Medical science were not very swift doing their harvesting. God bless her and accept her into Heaven for that charitable offering and all the other kindnesses she achieved.

Her funeral is on Thursday and I was due to be there. I declined last night though as I’d be taking the wrong emotions with me…

Agoraphobia is somewhat defined as “An abnormal and persistent fear of public places or open areas, especially those from which escape could be difficult…” (from medterms.com). This does not truly explain my anxieties or indeed the situations that make the problem escalate, reduce or disappear entirely. I have absolutely nothing against open areas, or even empty public places, only the weakness inherent in much of humanity flares the issue. I feel sorry for those not strong enough to fight the compulsion to voice their interpreted reflection of my mind (I might explain that one day). I hold greater respect for those who understand the choices and then choose the person rather than any of the future possibilities.

Last Thursday I experienced an overheard discussion (Once again I might explain later) and the touch of a spectral hand as something hugged me. I reached to hold the hand (the arm actually) and felt disappointment that there was no solidity there, felt disappointment that I passed straight through. I did not truly try to touch using any potential spectral side of myself, did not try to touch just with thought, perhaps next time.

Anyway, since then there has not been much enjoyable to lift my mood and thusly minor things have been annoying me more than normal. This elevates the agoraphobia and then I take options to avoid crowds until some calm has returned.

Not a good mindset to take to a funeral huh.
I could go there after some drink (to relax the mindset and make the crowds easier to deal with) except I would feel guilty.

No funeral for me then.

I have over the course of my time on the internet used a number of IM clients (Instant Messenger). Indeed I have used several aliases on some, mostly through forgetting login details and just making new accounts. There are some IM systems that I just do not like… No prizes for guessing which.

I have tried pidgin before to group several clients, actually liked most of what it managed except for its skype support (skype had to be running, which rather defeats the object).

Browsing around I encountered Digsby which has a nice set of IM clients supported. It also integrates to social networks and email protocols.
I admit I was a little dubious about how well it would support so many different aspects of online social interaction. I figured it would be clunky and not have many adjustable settings.

I was pleasantly surprised once I had it running.
I now have it handling GoogleTalk, MSN (which I uninstalled years back), Yahoo (also uninstalled), Facebook Chat (there is the option to have it handle many other aspects of Facebook too) and a few email accounts that I rarely check.
I would recommend it

I even added a Digsby Chat widget to the left side of this site to show my support.

Called the motor repairers this morning to let them know the alarm guys would be visiting to fix the step and door sensor.
They did mention that they have started on the repairs.

Makes me a little happier to know that I will be off to foreign shores soon.

So, the replaced generator arrived early this morning. Picked up some fuel while taking the dog for a walk and, after some arduous pulls on the starter cord, managed to get the engine running. Will do some testing of the output once the motor is back to hook things up to.

Rather late this afternoon (or early evening dependent upon your perspective) the inverter arrived too…

Now need to get the motor back so I can fit these bits and pieces.